Twins can be so cute, dressed in matching outfits, riding together in the stroller or grocery cart, posed with matching giant toys or lollipops... And they are absolute fun sometimes! But now I understand why the infertility specialists do not throw confetti at us when we say we want twins. No, they look very stern and list all the risks and make you feel selfish and stupid for even thinking about maybe considering to desire the possibility of twins. That's because they know twins are not just cute. Here are some of the realities of twins - that are occasionally cute. :)
Reality #1:
There's always more snuggling that needs to happen. The best part of new babies is the snuggling, right? Try enjoying that peaceful snuggle with the mother-guilt of: I'm snuggling this one and not that one. Have I snuggled that one as much as this one lately? I always snuggle this one on this side, maybe I should be switching it up? Yeah, no end to the guilt.
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| Snuggling - my new hobby |
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| Always another who wants some snuggling |
Reality #2:
Bath time with one is fun and another kind of playtime, but with two, it's too easy to drown one while focusing on the other, or for them to drown each other. So one at a time as quick as you can because the half hour you might spend bathing one kid has to be split between two. So fifteen minutes for each as quick as possible. Sorry, kids. You were cheated half your bath time. No playing. :)
But they are so adorable aren't they?
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| Audrianne after her bath |
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| They love bath time! |
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| They do look alike... |
Reality #3 & #4:
Torticollis. This is a condition in which one side of the neck is shorter or tighter than the other side so the head sits at a tilt rather than straight up or down. Babies usually develop this in the first couple months of life. However, Hyrum was born with severe torticollis having developed it in the womb. He was the lower baby and Audrianne took up quite a bit of room and squished him down into my pelvis where he couldn't move much in the end. In fact, the last couple months of ultrasounds they couldn't get great shots of his head for measurements because it was stuck too far down basically. So his muscles didn't develop with enough elasticity because it wasn't needed then. Poor kid. When we started some physical therapy for him, the therapist said that torticollis is most common in three groups: boys, first born children and multiples. Well, he was destined to have it sounds like - 3 out of 3!
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| Starting to enjoy the floor more |
Hyrum's tilt is a right side tilt which means he leans to his right; leaning to the left is difficult or impossible as is turning his head to look right. It seems weird but try it sometime. Next time your head seems to not tilt as far to one side, try looking to that side and notice how difficult that also is. So not only did we have to work on stretching his neck to straighten him up, but we also had to work on getting him to look on his right side and particularly up on his right side. He couldn't do it in the beginning at all and you can see that in these pictures. His neck is very tightly close to his right shoulder and as he looks at the camera, his eyes look upward rather than his head tilting upward. Audrianne shows how it should look as a comparison... which is Reality #4 of twins - constant comparisons, for better or worse.
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| Hyrum |
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| Audrianne |
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| Happiness! (Notice Hyrum's tilt) |
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| Love these huge smiles! |
Reality #5 and #6:
This seems similar to Reality #1 but it's actually completely different. You've tried or seen someone eating while holding a baby. You can't do that while holding twins. Not happening. I helped my two nephews bake cookies once while Abi was this age. I held her on my hip with one arm and worked the mixer and added ingredients with the other. Not happening while holding twins. I've had to hold Abi while using a public restroom multiple times. Not happening while holding twins - it's just not possible. Thus enters Reality #6 in that a double stroller is a must-have! See Reality #7 for more on this one.
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| Hands full always |
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| Playing with Daddy |
Reality #7:
You have to have two of almost everything and therefore you will never have floor space again. And if you spend much time on more than one level of your home, you may need two of an item for the first level AND two for the second level. We used two swings, two play mats, two jump-and-play saucers, five bouncers (two on each level, one in the bathroom for the baby not being bathed), two pack and plays, two cradles, two cribs, two changing stations (one for each level because realistically, you're not going to carry two babies who are possibly blowing out of their diapers to a different level to change them), two boppy pillows, two bumbo seats, two high chairs, two backpack-style carriers and of course two car seats. We haven't actually yet needed two double strollers but I know many families with multiples use more than one and some even up to five different ones! It seems excessive until you are in the situation. Don't judge, people. We're only trying to survive the best we can. Why more than one double stroller? Well, they have front-to-back and side-by-side options and you may need one for a zoo trip and one for department store shopping depending on the clearance you expect or whether they will both want front row seats or have to share snacks and toys. And you may want to take them jogging so you need a jogging stroller or perhaps you need to be small and versatile so you need a double umbrella stroller. It gets nuts.
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| I love having a floor full of babies! |
Reality #8:
Waiting your turn in the assembly line. When you have more than one baby, you have to do everything assembly line style similar to the bath routine I mentioned in Reality #2. Feeding, burping, diaper changes, clothing changes, bathing, rubbing on lotion, putting on pajamas, swaddling, giving medicines, putting coats on, getting in the car seats, getting strapped in the stroller, everything! So as a twin, you learn to wait your turn or wait for the second one to have his. AND, if there are older siblings, this just gets compounded by about 100 because they don't wait as well. Haha! So the multiples wait MORE than their share.
Here are my twins patiently hanging out on the couch with a pillow on their feet weighting them down so they don't roll off. They are sweet kiddos who don't mind waiting too much.
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| All snuggled up |
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| Getting ready to eat |
Reality #9:
You will never again catch up with housework, particularly laundry. We have accepted a pile of clean, unfolded laundry as part of our decor. Just expect it when you come over to visit and know that I won't mind a bit if you sit down next to it and begin to fold as we chat as long as you don't mind the tears of gratitude rolling down my cheeks.
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| Napping in the chaos |
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| Can't sit on the couch... too much laundry |
Reality #10:
Sleeping must happen on a routine. I never thought I'd be a super routine oriented mom as far as sleeping and eating goes. I figured they'll eat when they're hungry, they'll sleep when they're tired. Not happening with multiples. If that is the parenting philosophy, the parents will never sleep or eat because there will always be a baby that needs attention. ALWAYS! Babies run on cycles that are about two or three hours long. It takes about one and a half hours to feed, burp, and change two babies. If you did that with only one, then about the time one is ready to sleep, the other would be waking up. It's a nightmare! And it does cause tears. So, the reality is that when one baby wakes up to eat especially in the middle of the night, both babies must wake up to eat. We have kept these kiddos on a pretty tight and similar schedule to each other which has resulted in them syncing in ways we can't control, like pooping. They tend to poop about the same time of day, too, which is convenient!
As they grow, they also have to learn to sleep through each other's cries because as we help them extend their cycles to be four- or six-hour cycles during the night, we don't respond to the first crying baby right away. And they do eventually learn to sleep through each other's cries and movements, but there are lots of sleepless nights for everyone for a while.
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| I love that they sleep together |
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| Sleeping in the crib together |
Reality #11:
Pumping breast milk takes over life! I'm getting exhausted just thinking about how to explain this reality. Ha! Let's just say that at this point I was pumping milk for the babies about six times a day on average including a couple in the night. The whole process took 30-40 minutes to get set up, pump, and clean up. So essentially at least three hours of every day was spent sitting attached to one spot (so not chasing kids who are going through the pantry nor putting in pacifiers for crying babies who are out of reach). Not only does this drastically consume time, but it also consumes a ridiculous amount of calories! I'm not sure I ate that many calories or felt so hungry all the time when I was a teenager! I like eating so this reality was quite enjoyable but again, it's time consuming to prepare, eat and clean my own meal up. Some days, I had to choose between whether I would get sleep or eat because there wasn't enough time between pumping sessions with caring for the babies. I learned to make snack boxes full of veggies, fruit, crackers and cheese to keep in the fridge and take to my pumping spot with me. It's a constant battle trying to keep up with the caloric need.
When the babies get up at night to eat, I finish the feeding session with a pumping session. This is a total of 75-90 minutes of not sleeping each time! (Yes, we are always tired!) Since both babies have reflux (another reality of multiples), they sit in their bouncers while I pump so they can digest a little before laying flat and I transfer them to their cribs when I'm finished. Well, this has gotten more precarious as they've gotten older and more mobile... see the next photo...
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| Sleeping away |
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| Audrianne fell out |
Reality #12:
We love twins! We love our babies and feel incredibly blessed to have them! We are all exhausted and life will never be the same but we wouldn't change a thing!
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| Abi learning to love baby dolls |
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| Abi and her babies |
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| I love her loving-mommy-face |
Reality #13:
This blog is now officially ten months behind...
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