As the babies grew and I grew, things got harder. There came a point at about 34 weeks that everything got ridiculously hard. The whole experience came to a head one morning at 4:30AM because I had been awake since 3AM. I couldn't sleep because my bladder was in such distress and I broke down and sobbed. James was very sweet and held me while I cried that I couldn't do this anymore; I just couldn't stand to be pregnant another day. It was too hard, too painful, too exhausting. I wasn't in despair or anything, I truly believed I had hit the end of my ability to handle the physical demands of pregnancy.
These two, however, managed to find ways to keep me smiling and all of us entertained. I love them for it!
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| Smiley faces... literally |
We also got Oreos in the mail from James's parents. Abi was super thrilled about that package! :) She finally learned in July from her third birthday that packages and gift bags mean goodness so now she requests to open every package we get in the mail and sings Happy Birthday to herself. She doesn't seem too depressed yet when it's just razors from Amazon.
This video is adorable! James wraps her in a towel after her baths, then swings her while he sings Rock-a-bye Baby and pretends to drop her at the end of the song. She loves it!
I didn't complain to my doctors much during my pregnancy. (I did complain to my family though because how else would I get sympathy?) I had complained about heartburn early on in my pregnancy and the doctor's response was, "Yeah, that will keep getting worse." So, I figured that all my symptoms were simply that - symptoms of pregnancy - and I fully expected the doctor to listen politely to my complaints and then say, "Yep, you're pregnant." So I quit complaining.
By the end of that 34th week, I couldn't do it anymore. I told them all my issues and after a couple frustrating weeks of extra doctor appointments and several lab visits with a toddler in tow, we finally figured out that I had a UTI and gestational cholestasis. Once we got the UTI figured out, I slept much better and life got exponentially more beautiful. The cholestasis then took over and about killed me. Cholestasis is a liver condition where the liver can't handle the amount of hormones surging through the body anymore so it shuts down in a way and dumps all the liver bile into the blood stream. The side effects to the mom are not life-threatening but it causes itching like I've never experienced which cannot be calmed with any remedy like lotion or Epsom salt baths because it's not a skin condition - it's a blood condition. So you just itch. And itch. And it's worse at night. So trying to fall asleep while every inch of me itched was brutal! The doctor finally allowed me to take benadryl to help me sleep. That helped some.
So since I wasn't sleeping at night, I spent lots of time sleeping and laying on the couch during the day while Abi sat close by reading or watching TV. This video it just a small glimpse into my world at this point. This got me through the hard times.
While there isn't much concern for the pregnant mother who has been diagnosed with cholestasis, there is concern for the unborn baby(babies) and a cholestasis diagnoses automatically means a delivery at 37 weeks and more doctor appointments to watch the health of the baby(ies). This didn't change our lives much since we were already watching them closely and planning an early delivery due to the whole twin thing. In fact, I was so uncomfortable and miserable, I was more than ok with an earlier delivery! This did mean we needed to prepare our kitchen sooner and so we went to Costco. :) We can always count on Costco to have some playground sample, giant stuffed bear or snowman for Abi to climb on. Haha!
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| Costco is the best! |
Abi has been very into Toy Story 1 and 2 lately and loves jumping to James after shouting "To infinity and beyond!" I love this girl! She gets great air!
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| To infinity... |
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| ...and beyond! |
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| Their new bedtime routine |
So, part of why it took so long to definitively diagnose me with cholestasis was because I had only half the symptoms of cholestasis and half the symptoms of preeclampsia. Those two lovely conditions usually hang out together at the same bars anyway so having the first usually indicates a higher likelihood of the second. I felt pretty proud in a weird way that my symptoms stumped these specialist doctors who work with people like me all the time. How many people can say they stumped their doctor?
Because of all that run-around, they finally asked me to start taking my blood pressure at home to make sure I didn't develop preeclampsia. Well, Monday night at 8:30PM I finally had a blood pressure that was high enough to be in the preeclampsia range. I called the doctor to report it and he requested I go to the hospital to be monitored. We hadn't even packed... because a nameless friend of mine said not to pack until you really had to because if you pack early it just makes you anxious. Thanks for that advice, friend! :) So by the time we packed and got a friend over to watch Abi it was after 10PM.
We got to the hospital to the check in desk for labor and delivery and I wasn't in labor, just very big and uncomfortable. And then wouldn't you know? A woman clearly in labor and clearly very uncomfortable got in line behind me. So here's James and me laughing and happy and relaxed, even excited that maybe we would finally get to meet our kiddos, and there she sat - or rather bounced because she was in so much pain she couldn't sit still so she just shook and bounced in her chair. I didn't understand her reaction at the time. I do now that it's over and now I really feel bad that we took so long and looked so happy. Oh well...
James took this picture just in case we ended up giving birth that night. The final result of the monitoring was a diagnosis of "preeclampsia without severe symptoms." I just couldn't get my symptoms to hop off the fence and pick a side. Every symptom just sat right on the line between a solid diagnosis and nothing. The resident doctors informed me to come back if I had migraines or vision loss, vomiting that couldn't be stopped, seizuring, and basically death. I was so disappointed because by then I had finally gotten used to the idea of giving birth that night AND I couldn't believe they wanted me to wait until I was experiencing death practically. So... we went home.
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| Just another complication at 36.5 weeks |
I began to find things Abi and I could do together while sitting on the couch. I got our bananagrams letters out and had her help me put them in alphabetical order. She was very proud of herself.
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| Playing letter games |
By Wednesday, we still didn't have a scheduled delivery date despite Friday being our 37 week mark. I saw my OBGYN Wednesday afternoon with a prepared speech about wanting to get this wagon train moving and I didn't even have to give it. She walked in the room and first thing she said was, "So why haven't we scheduled this delivery yet?" AUGH! Finally! I could have kissed her and I probably cried. I should clarify that I was working between several groups of doctors who had been caring for me and the babies and none seemed to want to make the final call. James and I (and my mom who needed to buy plane tickets) were getting so frustrated with the run-around about the date.
She was a fantastic doctor who assured me that she was the on-call doctor for the weekend so she would be doing the delivery and then she talked me through the process and my options. The best part was that she was willing to attempt a vaginal delivery with me. She even said, "With a double-head down position, it would be a shame not to try a vaginal delivery." Again, I wanted to kiss her! It's amazing how magical life is when you feel like your doctor is fighting on your side with you!
After that appointment ended, I walked out and immediately texted my mother to buy her plane ticket and get out here! WE'RE HAVING BABIES!!!!!
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| How we all feel these days |
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