And then I became a model

Fun fact about me – I went to a summer modeling camp while still in high school and learned all about the catwalk, photo shoots, dress design, make-up and hair – my picture even appeared in a magazine. It was fun but it didn’t completely prepare me for when I became a full-time, professional model. What? You haven’t heard about my new job? I’ve had it now for over 21 months, but it’s been hitting me only recently exactly what my job requires of me. Let me explain. I usually wake up to the sounds of my fan club. From that moment on, no, even before that moment, I’m on stage.

We're ready for our fashion debut!

Abi is 21 months now. She is at an age where we and the world at large are beginning to have expectations for her behavior. She’s meeting some, surpassing some, and missing some. At 18 months, she had very little speech comprehension or expression so we had her evaluated by Early Intervention specialists to see if she could qualify for speech therapy. She qualified with flying colors! And now we have therapists come to our home ten times every month to work with her on her language and behavioral communication development.

While the therapists work with Abi, they are teaching me how to engage her in the ways that will build her skills when they aren’t here. Almost everything they encourage me to do reminds me that I am the best, most available model Abi has for everything in her life right now.

And my thought is, “I’d better step it up!”

I realized that the most important modeling I will ever do will never be on a catwalk, but in my daily walk in my home, in front of my children. This may sound too simple, but it caused me to evaluate my behavior and changed my attitude about what I do during the day.

For example, I discovered that I’m on my computer in front of Abi too much. I legitimately need to use my computer to pay bills, send emails and do training for my church service, blog and journal, and communicate with family and friends. But what usually happens is the computer swallows my time right up with unnecessary things which I won’t name but we all know what steals our computer time. And I have to ask myself, do I want my daughter to see me on the computer so much? What am I teaching her if she only sees me sitting on the couch staring at my screen, using one finger to occasionally click a button? Whatever the lesson she is learning, it’s not what I am hoping she’ll remember about me. So I made subtle changes, like getting my computer work done while she’s napping, not leaving distracting websites open on my browser waiting to suck me in, and purposely reading more while she’s awake – because I’d rather she see me staring at a book than a screen.

How much observation does it take to mimic a behavior? Maybe I should focus on her while shopping...

Another realization I had was that she is now old enough to do chores – not that the chores really get done when she does them, but the focus is on her, not on the chores. If I remember that, we do OK. So we changed our nightly routine to include picking up toys before we headed off for bed. I figured that was an age appropriate chore.

That meant I modeled.

I essentially did the chore the first week. Abigail did nothing. She just stood and watched. Or she grabbed what I just put away and sat to play with it – and two other toys I just put away. It turned into a race, me racing to put the toys away faster than she could get them out. I about gave up then. Because that is frustrating, people!

Now, weeks later, she actually sings the “clean-up song” and helps put things away. She’s still not amazing at it and she’s still a very long way from doing it by herself, but that just means I still have a job. I’m OK with that.

One night, I was feeling particularly ambitious in my modeling business, and invited Abi to do dishes with me. I got her a chair, stripped her shirt off (because I have a good idea of how this will really go), put on an apron, and filled the rinse sink with less-than-hot water. Then I washed her spoon, rinsed it in her sink, and put it in the dish drainer, explaining as I went. I was the best Vanna White of the dishwashing world you ever saw! And boy was Abi excited! She had to try it herself as soon as the next spoon hit the rinse water. She picked it up and put it in the drainer – upside down but hey, I can live with that. We cheered, and then she looked at it, grabbed both spoons out and put them back in the rinse water.

Best dish helper in the world! Cutest at least!

I’ll just summarize the end of this story with the fact that her apron and pants were soaked by the end as well as the rug and she and I had the best dish-doing time of our lives! We only washed about half of the dishes this way – because this takes forever, people – but it’s a beautiful memory! James came home near the end just in time to receive a soaking wet hug from his gorgeous girls.

I have loved this switch in my thinking – my realizing that I am responsible for all behavior modeling for this small human being. I love making intentional decisions about what I do in front of Abi. She motivates me to be better!

In all of this modeling, there is one area that is most important on which we were fortunate to have gotten a jump start. While the Early Intervention Specialists were in our home evaluating Abi, they asked what commands she follows like, sit down, come here, stand up, go to daddy, give, take, etc. They were looking to see if she could follow any three commands at 18 months of age. At that point she really only had two: “sit down” and “fold your arms.”

Abi, "folding her arms" for the camera.

It is truly gratifying to see your daughter who can hardly process anything you say fold her arms and be reverent while you pray to your Heavenly Father and thank Him for all He has given us. She understood the prayer routine almost immediately which is a testament to me of our divine heritage.

We are children of God and we want to be with Him and like Him. He has given us His Son, Jesus Christ as the ultimate model for our behavior. It is my hope and prayer that my modeling will reflect the life of our Savior to my daughter and she will see Him in me and in turn, I will see Him in her.

What a glorious perspective for going about the daily tasks of motherhood and homemaking!